toO bOLd

theres something i have to confess here... hope someday when i read back these blog, i can laugh happily seeing how unmature i am now..

even i tried to forgive to forget hafiz, it seems i cant stop thinking about how much i am hurt when i heard those long memories songs, and when i read others love stories, and when i watched their kind of cute love story's drama, and when....

and when i think i am trying to get in close to man, to trust and be trusted, to fall in love again...

i cant stop myself to built a shield which i dont know i have, since i know i do have this kind of i want to be near him feeling, but i cant reach him...

i cant show him i like him, i want him to make a first move, but still i dont know if i can trust him if he do that..

and luckily he seems dont have any kind of feeling, to make the first move! but i. i dont know...

i want to , at least i want him to like me, i think. but every time i see him, since i first time saw him, i can see the hope to me, to maybe at least admire someone, or like him...

since he is the first man who have my full attention on where was him at every time we have any activities together!

but still...

i did believe no woman can make their first move, always. and i did hope for man to make the first move in relationship.

but since he already made the first move, and when he so sure i'd became too attached, not so soon to loved but enough to break my trust, he made the first move to leave me, too!

so, right now, i still cant make the first move, but i cant trust somebody who make their first move towards me, too! i cant trust their true intention!

please, Ya ALLAH, i already forgave him, can ALLAH help ensure my heart to trust somebody...?