WhaT iS iT...?

how can i just content with looking into his wide smile? till my chest feels heavy with lots of untold emotions, that bring unknown tears in my eyes. thats too much for me, right now, at this point.

i wish i can feel the same feeling towards someone near me, that more realistic. but my heart and head cant let me.

i do feel some affection towards suitake kun, but theres too much minus point than this spontaneous crush. it can be faded away by just looking into this man expression. i hate this.